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A Cursed Review of the Crimson Princess Knight Ona Cup
By ImJustThatKinky • 5 years ago


Nobody asked us to do a review of this garbage, but I did one anyway. For the people.

Curiosity can be a dangerous thing. When you first start a new hobby or interest, you take heed of others warnings and advice. But as your knowledge expands, as your surroundings grow familiar, you begin to wonder what other possibilities await you. I come here today to assure you that some things are better left undiscovered.

Blinded my by infatuation with these new devices… I ordered an “ona cup” to see what else is out there. It’s like a onahole, but it’s cheaper(?) and meant to give you a one and done type of experience. A one night stand, if you will. The Enjoy Party Crimson Princess Knight Cup COULD be found on j-list for $10.00 when I got it during a promotion that ran alongside the Elf one. However, it appears they took it off the site? (I wonder why…) I recently found it on otona-sekai though for $8.00.



Packaging

Because of the design of the ona cup, the packaging and the product are kind of the same thing. Unlike an onahole where you open the box and take it out, this ona cup does not come with box art. There is, however, art on the label of the  cup similar to how the wrapping on a water bottle works. The art is depicting the princess knight girl to remind you who it is you’re supposed to be fucking. It looks good enough and probably offers some informative instructions if you can read Japanese. There is no lube included in the package as the product comes pre-lubed (more on that later).


Ya know, I could really stand to have art like this on every cup.


Design/Structure

You’re seeing the picture below this, right? What the fuck is that? I own the thing and I’m still not sure. It clearly begins with ridges which fade away into circular bumps, but the last section? A few final ridges on the side is the best way I can describe them. Don’t worry, they must not be that important, as I didn’t even notice them. The material on the inside is white and… not the best. It certainly does not possess the same silky smoothness of the other products I’ve reviewed. On the bright side, the hard exterior of the cup definitely prevents any chance of the material tearing and your dick popping out the other end. Additionally, some air holes allow you to manipulate the suction a bit by covering them up with your fingers. I'm not sure who wrote the description at otona-sekai, but due to the one-time-use design of the product, there’s really not much of a method for cleaning it. It’s meant to be disposable and thus you are expected to throw it away after use. If you really wanted to, I could see that attempting to flush it with hot water might partially work, but if you really want repeated use I would just recommend looking for a onahole instead.



The hell is even going on in that last part, another dick emerging to touch mine?


Enjoyment

This shit was fucking horrible. First of all, the pre-lube idea was okay, but the execution was horrendous. Unless you’re a slippery snake I don’t see how you’re expected to keep sliding using the lube provided. Three strokes in I was reaching for a lube bottle to add some in the cup. Then there’s the material. It’s just not soft dog. It was like lubing up a rubber cup and fucking it. Not as bad as a sock, but still absolute shit. None of the design traits shine either. I could barely feel the bumps or ridges. The only saving grace was the suction feature. It was pretty cool to be able to manipulate the suction strength and attempt to simulate sucking. Unfortunately, the roughness of the material and interior design did nothing to complement it. I never intend to purchase an ona cup again after this nightmare.



I should of known this was gonna be shit when the first three circles of hell were embedded in the opening.


For the very low price, I can see the appeal of trying something like this out. That is, if I didn’t already try an onahole from the Girlish Number! series. Barring the few dollars more, I have no idea why anyone would prefer this.

TL; DR Material was rough, interior design had no unique points, hard to reuse by design, better products on the market for the price... 1/5

Not everyday you see a 1/5 on the site. Yikes. Do you have a product that you bought and hated? Want an onaHOLE reviewed? Tell me in the comments below!