For those who don’t have a single tech bro in their life, the talking point of the year has been artificial intelligence. While personally I think that “machine learning algorithms” is a better descriptor, the point is that many argue we are on the precipice of another huge technological shift on scale with the rise of smartphones. A revolution that fundamentally changes how we live and work. Hell recently a conglomeration of those involved in the A.I. development space came together to sign a petition to slow down the advancement of research as we are supposedly not yet ready to adapt to such huge new possibilities. Already the industries of art, voice acting, and article creation have been affected. Coincidentally, Doujins also is either adjacently or directly involved in the industries of art, voice acting, and article creation. That got us thinking. After a VERY long boardroom meeting, we decided that the way to keep innovating and stay on top of our game, would be to replace all key staff members and vital processes with the latest A.I. programs. 

Let’s take an insider look at how this will be beneficial for the staff AND readers alike. To start, a doujin needs to be translated so that it can be read. By utilizing a translator A.I., we can increase the speed at which doujins are transformed by up to 600%. I mean our current translator team has to eat, and like, sleep and stuff. By doing away with that lame shit, we can capitalize on a learning model working around the clock to get galleries ready. After that, we need to upload and organize doujins. Pretty boring shit when you’re working on doujin #7831 to be uploaded. Thankfully UpL0AD, our new A.I. uploader, never gets tired doing the same task. With those two in place, we can expect doujin releases to sky rocket to approximately 200 per week. That oughta keep the diehard fans busy. Lastly, on the creative side of things we still need to produce article content and audio doujins. Much deliberation ensued, but then we had the genius idea to fire WakeUpSnooze in the third quarter of 2023. That sucks for me. Um. I cried a lot. But anyway, we plan to use WakeAISnooze to pump out articles everyday (even federal holidays!). Expect some great hits like “Top 10 Sexiest Doujins That Are More Sexy Than The Rest” and “Top 10 Doujins With Sexy Artwork”! The limits are, well, limitless! Once we finish processing every VA’s lines we’ve had on the site so far, we can then also use voice synthesis to make any doujin we want to have audio! Why doujins of established characters can just be generated from their real VA counterparts. Genius AND affordable!

We've done it team. Judging from the graph, profits are once again on the upswing.

So there you have it. Hopefully this article has enlightened you to the vast array of possibilities that our new A.I.-led Doujins will bring to you, and why it’s going to make our stock price skyrocket through the fucking roof. I’d invest now kids, cause this train is headed to the moon and we aren’t making any stops. It really sucks that I will be fired in a few months, but it’s a small price to pay for these upcoming advancements to the features and efficiency of Doujins.com. Have you kept up with A.I.’s progress? What industries do you think will be affected? Have you used any A.I. to generate sexy content yet? The craziest thing about all this is that in a year or two, this exact same article might be able to be uploaded on a day that isn’t April Fool’s, and next time, it’ll be true.