I have yet to see the worldwide phenomenon known as Squid Game. However, like many who visit the Internet on a daily basis there is no possible way I could’ve avoided the endless amount of references and memes cropping up all over the place. Normally I’d scroll right by none the wiser, yet this time was different. I saw a Squid Game related, uh, piece of art floating around on YouTube of all places. It depicted contestants competing in a new addition to the challenge lineup: the Squirt Game.
The rules are simple. You attempt to eat a girl out. For the three girls who read the blog you attempt to give a blowjob. If you successfully cause the other person to cum within a small time frame, say under 10 minutes for this hypothetical,, you are awarded a FAT $100,000. On the other hand, if you fail you are immediately killed right afterwards. Easy, right? So are you giving it a shot? Unfortunately for me my answer is fuck no. As a weeb turbovirgin, I haven’t exactly had any experience trying to eat someone out. I have no idea what I’m doing or where to begin outside of the rough general guidelines that you pick up on while simply living life. 100K is a ton of money for less than 10 minutes of work, but I simply don’t trust my amateur technique enough to stake my life on it. Now if it was to suck a guy off for 100K I’d have to ponder it more because as a dick wielder I know what feels good and what doesn't. Still though due to my lack of experience I may take a pass and skip it.
They make it look so easy.
Since I haven’t watched Squid Game I don’t know how fucky they are with the rules. In anime when there’s a big scene where the protagonist has to take some kind of gamble with the villain, it’ll often be revealed that the protagonist was able to make the right choice because there was a loophole in the rules. For example, will the girl or guy you’re giving oral to be actively attempting to not cum? Will they be thinking about their father dying slowly on his deathbed as his last moments of life are depleted from him while you’re trying to slurp? In that case it changes the game completely to know that you are having to work against that. In fact I think most people wouldn’t risk their life if that information was known, so for the sake of this hypothetical I’ll say that the receiver is neither trying to not cum, nor trying to cum. They’re simply neutral and it’s up to you to fix that and win the prize.
If she's in a mood like this before I even start, it may be time to hit the give up button and get the death over with.
I’m simply too young to be risking my life for $100,000 doing an activity that I’ve never attempted in my life before. I’m interested to see if you guys are some gigachads who would accept the Squirt Game challenge though. Perhaps at a higher amount of money? Have you watched Squid Game yet? Would you take the challenge and risk it all? Converse with the other contestants in the comments below!
P.S. I went back and looked, but I never found the original image/post that inspired this article in the first place. I didn’t realize I would write about it until a while after I’d seen it. Apologies.
