In the beginning, there was only art. Drawings, landscapes, portraits, at its core, creativity. But mankind discovered that creativity is wasted on constant introspective thought. Indeed, mankind determined that art could also be used to satisfy its most primal desire: fucking. Thus hentai was born, and it has been around for a while now, and when I think of “what kink is associated with the entire industry?” the first one that pops into my head is tentacle rape.

We’ve all seen the memes, right? Some girl starts talking about some long, slimy, pulsating thing and the caption goes “I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going”. And yet, it’s time to bust out another controversial opinion. I’ve only tried this famous kink a few times and everytime I left disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of any hardcore shit in fantasy land. It’s the tentacle part that always fucks me up. Where to begin?

Oh shit! Not the Bat-A-Rape!

I’m not one for dicks in my porn and tentacles don’t do much better. Sure they’re usually not as grossly detailed as some dude’s dick that I gotta look at, but at the same time it’s not appetizing like a lusciously drawn pair of lips or something. Usually there’s multiple tentacles, some that hold the legs open and one or two (or twenty) that actually perform the fucking. It’s very reminiscent of someone being pounded while tied up, but to me regular rope keeps a harsher aesthetic going which I prefer in that context. I do like the idea of the tentacle creature having complete control of its tentacles so it can really go hard in the paint though. Being able to flex the tentacle around inside is pretty hot. Overall though the fact that it’s a tentacle going inside rather than a dick, hand, or tongue does more to detract than add for me.

But the real problem stems from the simple fact that it’s usually some barely sentient monster that just loves to fuck humans. I might have to do a separate article on monsters one day cause man that’s another area I can’t get into, but what really sucks is these tentacle bois usually have no personality. I love some interesting/cheeky dialogue in my doujins, especially during the act. I’ve seen a ton of scenes where the tentacle thing can’t even talk let alone form sentences. And if it does talk, it’s some over-the-top monster that says shit like “YES! YESSSS! MY JUMBO TENTACLE IS RAVAGING YOUR INNARDS, MIRU-CHAN! HOW DO YOU LIKE MY ALIEN COCK!? IT FEEDS OFF YOUR HUMAN FLESH WALLS!!!” at which point I’m ready to blast off into space with no helmet to end my suffering.

Like I want to see that THING smash pussy while I don't.

I’m always looking to hear what you perverts like about these subgenres though. After all, SOMEBODY has to love this shit for it to be so prevalent in the industry. Perhaps it’s more of a Japanese fetish though. Do you enjoy tentacle rape? Have I just not seen the good ones? Do you skip over it too? Fight back against the monster and free your hands to type a comment below!